this is what i supposed to do :D

1. 1
   Be honest. In a mature relationship, honesty is by far the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. It is tough but no matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. Statistically, studies found that when a couple were more honest from the start they were more likely to become spouses or long-term partners. If you have a relevant opinion, let them know, otherwise you aren't giving them a chance to fix things and grow. Don't always try to make it sound like a compliment. It's fine to suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative (For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on, let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great ___.) But if you do that, eventually she's going to wear the original article that you didn't like, and eventually you will both get very tired of that strategy. It's the same with other problems: telling her what you like is fine, but you have to tell her what you don't like as well. Sugar-coating is fine, but deflecting isn't. Expect this kind of honesty back, and if you both realize that expressing such opinions just comes out of caring and honesty, you'll both have a better relationship.
   
   
2. 2
   Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. If you really honestly care about that person then you will spend the time that they rightly deserve, or at least discuss the situation. Remember, she is your girlfriend because she likes being around you. Some girls have been taught that the only way to get attention when their boyfriend ignoring them is to act more emotional and be louder until you finally surrender and pay attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm pretty angry and I don't want to fight like that. Let's talk later" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
3. 3
   Communicate. When you talk, you want to get a 50-50 balance in the flow of conversation. Neither gender enjoys an overly quiet (she thinks: uninterested/distant) or overly talkative (she thinks: self-obsessed/impolite). Unless of course something very exciting or important has happened for one of you, in which case a bit of conversation-dominance is expected. If you don't feel much like talking at some point, keep a flow of small questions going. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting for your turn, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Don't listen too intensely, staring and not once breaking eye contact is a bit scary, but certainly seem interested.
4. 4
   Make physical contact. Girls have much thinner skin than guys, so even a light touch is appreciated. If your girl is a romantic, upon seeing her for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you..." and weave your arms around her hips then give her a loving hug. Don't make it last too long! A hug in public can last anywhere from 5 seconds, to a minute or two. If you have been together with your girlfriend for longer, and have kissed before, feel free to also give light kissed on her lips /cheeks / forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate her presence. Or just kiss her hand (not in the bowing in front of her way though, just clasp and bring it up to your lips) Make sure to do it in private or a discrete place if you're not sure how your girlfriend feels about public displays of affection.
5. 5
   Gifts. Put thought into birthday, Valentine's Christmas or anniversary gifts (by the way, it's the 21st century. Your phone has a calender and alarm on it so there's no excuse to forget). Give yourself time to think of what she would like. That way you can find it at a reasonable price and it will still say a lot. A necklace for instance can be tacky if it's not thought out, but silver (which isn't really expensive) and a pendant that means something to her (her name, a snowflake if she loves to ski/skate, a musical note if she's musical, ect) can make it really sweet. And always add a little chocolate. Gifts can also be a nice surprise. Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work or school, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures. As Sean Connery says, "The way to a woman's heart is through an unexpected gift at an unexpected time."
6. 6
   Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
7. 7
   Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
8. 8
   Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she isyours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
9. 9
   Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
10. 10
    Be open. Being open to one's mate will show care and concern on her thoughts and feelings. Being open will also allow you to create a more open relationship towards each other as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs. It will help to be open because you show that you can be trusted. After all, love is a good combination of trust and commitment. Openness, in line with honesty will blend in perfect harmony and make your relationship last a long time.
11. 11
    Be supportive. Being supportive plays a very crucial part in keeping a relationship strong. Make her needs a priority. Make sure you are with her with what she wants all the time. 110% supportive. Upon supporting your mate, it will usher in a new and improved sense of security.
12. 12
    If she suffers the death of a pet, remember that to her it is a BIG deal. Women are programed to fall in love with their offspring, and most women refer to their pets as their babies and treat them as such. If she cries, do not tell her to stop. Instead, take the time and hold her, comfort her. She will probably fall asleep after she cries herself out. Do not leave (unless you're going no further than the kitchen to fix a snack for her when she wakes up, something simple that doesn't need to be refrigerated, or the bathroom). When she wakes, give her a hug and suggest doing something simple together such as watching tv and keeping contact. If she talks about her pet, listen, tell her the pet had a good life because of her, and that it probably appreciated it. If you know the pet's name, use it instead of saying "your cat". She'll be ok in a few days, although she might tear up a little when the pet is mentioned.
13. 13
    If she cries for a reason you can't be sure of, first determine if the tears are happy, sad, or frustrated. If happy, then be happy with her. If sad, find out what made her sad, and comfort her. DO NOT tell her to stop crying, doing so makes her feel like she's being a burden to you or like you don't care. She'll stop crying eventually, just pet her hair (which most women find comforting) and hold her gently but securely as she may go limp once you touch her and really let loose. If she has trouble breathing, get her water. If the tears are of frustration, calm her down, ask specific questions about what happened, and try to fix it if you can. If you cannot fix it, find someone who can and wait for her to calm down before asking them over to help. If it can't be fixed, and is an inanimate object causing the problem, feel free to insult it and say it should have been made for rocket scientists or something of the like.
14. 14
    Remember she talks to her friends. If you don't know what she wants for a present, ask them, they probably know most of her dream dates, favorite spots, favorite brands, and what she absolutely hates. However, do not ask her friends what is wrong with her if you two have had a fight, they will almost always choose her side and word will get back to her. Be nice to her friends, if they don't like you, they may give her advice against being with you (especially if you are a complete jerk to them or refuse to let her spend time with them).

4 moo

         We are close to reach our 5th monthsary  I was so excited in the 18th day of April. we face many problems and trials but we just stand on it and never let that break us.Thank you for staying I just want to apologize in all the wrong things I've than.I'm not a perfect person but i want to be perfect for you. Thank you for the patience you gave. Than you for all the help and support that you give. Thank you so much for your love thank you thank you thank you eternally I will thank you.
         We are just begin the everlasting love we will share I want to be with you until I take my last breath. I build my dreams and goals with you and I will fulfill it with you. You are one of my goal I want to achieve I will hold on even their is a reason to let go I will hold on I promise you that. 
          I always pray to God that this will never end. You are the only girl I want to be with in my whole life. For me you are a extra ordinary girl and so perfect for me thats why I feel and I will never find someone who will love me like you. once again I will say from the bottom of my heart I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOO!

gusto kita parating kasama
sapiling mo nadadama ko ang ligaya
gusto kita parating makita
maniwala itoy mahal kita sobra sobra
bakasyon na 
siguradong palaging mamimis kita
pwede bang dito kana tumira?
sana pwede sa na pwede

di ako susuko sa pag boblog
kahit minsan masakit sa utak
mag isip ng bagong kataga
at mga magagandang salita
na pwede ialay sayo aking sinta
medyo mahirap dahil di ko pwede ulitin
mga dating kataga ay bawal na uli banggitin

akoy pag pasensyahan
sadyang kulang ako sa pagmamahal
napakahilig ko sa attention
lalo na sa appriciation
di ko alam kung bakit ako ganito
pero sadyang di ko maiwasan to
tulungan mo ako mag bago
kakayanin ko to sa tulong mo
akoy patawarin
i love you

ang unang pagkikita

sa una nating pagkikita

sa totoo lang parang wala lang

di kita masyado napansin

parang wala ka lang sa akin

isa panaman akong isnabero

pag di ko kilala di ko kinikibo

di ko akalaing magkakaganito

nung una ayaw ko panga nito

nguit sadyang di ko napigilan

puso koy naturuan mo mag mahal

handa na nga maging hangal

pag ibig ko sayo lang itatanghal

maniwala ka sobra kitang mahal

sa kabila ng aking mga pang lalait

mga pang babara kaya araw moy pumait

patawarin mo ako

kinain ko lahat ng nasabi ko

di masarap ngunit di ko iluluwato

mahal na mahal kita 

wala na ngang iba

ikaw lang talaga miriam saludaga

will and willing

this is such a memorable day
what a very good good day
what i beautiful dance
so attracted to my eyes
sorry for i cant handle the pressure
i love really really  our closure 
you always make me smile
my heart cant never lie
i love you more than my life


i dont know what i will say
you exchange me love more than i pay
open up your eyes and see
how addicted i can be
my one and only you
i want to tell that i love you

salamat

salamat sa iyong pag dalo
salamat sa suporta mo
ikaw ang kasama at karamay
kasalo sa lahat ng bagay
pasensya hindi ko naayos
pinilit ko alam yan ng Diyos
kabado lang talaga ako
at medjo masakit ang puso
dahil wala ang ina ko
nagusto kong maging ina mo
salamat napasaya mo ako
pinununo ako ng kaligayahan moo
kahit marami kapa trabaho
inuna mo na samahan ako
salamat moo
salamat moo
ikaw ang pinaka mamahal ko
wag ka mawawala asawa ko
i love u

♥

marami akong natutunan 
sa sakit at pait na pinagdaanan
salamat sa iyong pang unawa
salamat sa muling pagtitiwala
kahit di na ako karapatdapat
pag ibig moy sadyang tapat
biyaya ka na dumating sa aking buhay
langit ang pag ibig na inalay


hindi na ako makakahanap ng ibang katulad mo
sapagkat alam kong nag iisa ka sa mundong ito
hindi na ako makakakita ng ibang katulad mo
kung hindi ikaw hindi na mag mamahal itong puso ko
sapagkat wala na ngang katulad mo

i love u forever

i love you so much

I want to make a change
hurting you is what I hate
i m too numb
i m so selfish and unkind
please stay help me do the work
with you i know it will work
I will overcome my personality disorder
to be a good and a great lover


lets make a good start
i want to be good to your heart
lets make a good start
i will not let you fall apart
lets make a good start
and share a never ending love

i have some personality disorder huhuhu

Personality Disorders are divided into three groups, or “clusters”.

·         Cluster A personality disorders are individuals who have odd, eccentric behaviors. Paranoid, Schizoid, and Schizotypal Personalities fall into this cluster.

·         Cluster B are personalities that are highly dramatic, both emotionally and behaviorally. Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic, and Histrionic Personality are in this group.

·         Cluster C are personalities characterized by being anxious and fearful. Avoidant, Dependent, and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality fall into this cluster.

The Relationship Destroyers: Cluster B

In considering individuals who create the most damage to social and personal relationships, the abusers, manipulators, “players”, controllers, and losers are found in Cluster B. For this reason, this article will focus on the behaviors associated with Cluster B personality disorders.

In the general population, the largest number of personality disorders fall in the Cluster B group. The four personality disorders in Cluster B are:

Antisocial Personality

A pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others and rules of society. The Antisocial Personality ranges from individuals who are chronically irresponsible, unsupportive, con artists to those who have total disregard for the rights of others and commit criminal acts with no remorse, including those involving the death of victims. In clinical practice, the Antisocial Personality has near-total selfishness and typically has a pattern of legal problems, lying and deception, physical assault and intimidation, no regard for the safety of others, unwillingness to meet normal standards for work/support/parenting, and no remorse.

Borderline Personality

A pervasive pattern of intense yet unstable relationships, mood, and self-perception. Impulse control is severely impaired. Common characteristics include panic fears of abandonment, unstable social relationships, unstable self-image, impulsive/self-damaging acts such as promiscuity/substance abuse/alcohol use, recurrent suicide thoughts/attempts, self-injury and self-mutilation, chronic feelings of emptiness, inappropriate yet intense anger, and fleeting paranoia.

Histrionic Personality

A pervasive pattern of excessive emotional display and attention-seeking. Individuals with this personality are excessively dramatic and are often viewed by the public as the “Queen of drama” type of individual. They are often sexually seductive and highly manipulative in relationships.

Narcissistic Personality

A pervasive preoccupation with admiration, entitlement, and egotism. Individuals with this personality exaggerate their accomplishments/talents, have a sense of entitlement, lack empathy or concern for others, are preoccupied with envy and jealousy, and have an arrogant attitude. Their sense of entitlement and inflated self-esteem are unrelated to real talent or accomplishments. They feel entitled to special attention, privileges, and consideration in social settings. This sense of entitlement also produces a feeling that they are entitled to punish those who do not provide their required respect, admiration, or attention.

When encountering the victims of emotional and physical abuse, the Personality Disorder individual is already present in their lives as a mother, father, sibling, spouse, partner, or relative.The majority of clients with difficulties related to their childhood find a Personality Disorder as a parent.For many, they have found themselves in a romantic relationship or marriage with a Personality Disorder. Others discover they are working with a Personality Disorder as a co-worker, supervisor, or supervisee. A smaller group finds they are victims of the severe behavior of a Personality Disorder and have been assaulted, robbed, traumatized, or manipulated.

Personality Disorders are present in 10 to 15 percent of the adult population, with Cluster B accounting for approximately 9 percent based on research. At such a high percentage, it’s important that we learn to identify these individuals in our lives. A failure to identify them may create significant risk. While most of our contact with a Personality Disorder may be brief, the more involved they are in our lives, the higher the risk of emotional, social, and other damage. For this reason, it’s helpful to identify some of the characteristics of a personality disorder.

Core Features of Personality Disorders

Mental health professionals have identified ten personality disorders, each with their own pattern of behaviors, emotionality, and symptoms. However, in my observation, all Cluster B Personality Disorders have core personality features that serve as the foundation for their specific personality disorder. Some of those core personality features are:

Self-Centered

We often hear the phrase “It’s All About Me”. When making decisions, a healthy person weighs the needs and concerns of others as well as their own. A Personality Disorder weighs only their needs and concerns. A Personality Disorder may use money to feed their family for their own purpose. A brother with a Personality Disorder may intimidate an elderly parent for money or manipulate a legal situation to eliminate siblings from an inheritance. In most situations, if we are contacted by a Personality Disorder, the contact is for their purpose, not ours.

Refusal to Accept Personal Responsibility for Their Behavior

Individuals with a Personality Disorder almost never accept personal responsibility for their behavior. They blame others, use excuses, claim misunderstandings, and then depict themselves as the victim in the situation. Those that are physically abusive actually blame the victims of their abuse for the assault. Victims often hear “This is your fault! Why did you make me angry?” This aspect of a Personality Disorder is very damaging when the Personality Disorder is a parent. They blame the children for their abusive, neglectful, or dysfunctional behavior. Children are told they are responsible for the temper tantrums, alcohol/substance abuse, unemployment, poverty, unhappiness, etc. of their parent. During a divorce, a Personality Disorder parent often blames the children.

Self-Justification

Individuals with a Personality Disorder don’t think, reason, feel, and behave normally. However, they typically justify all of their behaviors. Their justification often comes from their view that they have been victims of society or others and are therefore justified in their manipulative, controlling, criminal or abusive behaviors. A common justification in criminals is to blame the victim for the crime as when hearing “It’s his fault (the victim) that he got shot. He should have given me the money faster.” Healthy adults find it impossible to reason with a Personality Disorder, finding their justifications impossible to understand.

Entitlement

Individuals with a Personality Disorder have a tremendous sense of entitlement, a sense that they deserve respect, money, fame, power, authority, attention, etc. Some feel they are entitled to be the center of attention and when that doesn’t happen, they are entitled to create a scene or uproar to gain that attention. Entitlement also creates a justification to punish others in the Personality Disorder. If you violate one of their rules or demands, they feel entitled to punish you in some way.

Shallow Emotions

Healthy people are always amazed and astonished that a person with a Personality Disorder can quickly detach from a partner, move on, and exhibit very little in the way of remorse or distress. A Personality Disorder can find another partner following a breakup, often within days. These same individuals can also quickly detach from their family and children. They can become angry with their parents and not contact them for years. A Personality Disorder can abandon their children while blaming the spouse/partner for their lack of support and interest. Their ability to behave in this manner is related to their “Shallow Emotions”. The best way to think of Shallow Emotions is to have a great $300.00 automobile (192 euros). You have a limited investment in the automobile, and when it’s running great you have no complaints. You take the effort to maintain the vehicle as long as the costs are low. If it develops costly mechanical difficulties, it’s cheaper to dispose of it and get another $300.00 automobile that will run well. Also, if you move a large distance, you leave it behind because it’s more costly to transport it. A Personality Disorder has shallow emotions and often views those around them as $300.00 autos. Their emotional investment in others is minimal. If their partner is too troublesome, they quickly move on. If parents criticize their behavior, they end their relationship with them...until they need something.

A Personality Disorder takes pride in being able to “do what I gotta do” to have their demands/needs met. They have few personal or social boundaries and in the severe cases, do not feel bound by laws of the land and quickly engage in criminal activity if needed. The motto of a Personality Disorder is “the end justifies the means”. Situational morality creates rather extreme behaviors and many Personality Disorders have no hesitation to harm themselves or others to meet their needs. Activities often seen as manipulative are tools of the trade for a Personality Disorder and include lying, dishonesty, conning behavior, intimidation, scheming, and acting. Many Personality Disorders are “social chameleons” and after evaluating a potential victim/partner, alter their presentation to be the most effective. Severe Personality Disorders have no hesitation about self-injury and will cut themselves, overdose, threaten suicide, or otherwise injure themselves with the goal of retaining their partner using guilt and obligation.

Narcissism and Ineffective Lives

A Personality Disorder has a strong influence on the life and lifestyle of the individual. Cluster B personality disorders often have two lives — their “real life” and the imaginary life they present to others that is full of excuses, half-truths, deceptions, cons, lies, fantasies, and stories prepared for a specific purpose. Physical abusers who were forcibly and legally removed from their children and spouse develop a story that the in-laws conspired with the police to separate them from the children they love so deeply. Jail time is often reinterpreted as “I took the blame for my friend so he could continue to work and support his family”. A major finding in a Personality Disorder is an ineffective life — reports of tremendous talent and potential but very little in the way of social or occupational success. It’s a life of excuses and deceptions. Narcissistic and Antisocial “losers” often promise romantic cruises that never take place or have a reason that their partner needs to place an automobile in his/her name. Their lives are often accompanied by financial irresponsibility, chronic unemployment, legal difficulties, and unstable living situations in the community. Their behavior often emotionally exhausts those around them — something the Personality Disorder explains with “My family and I have had a falling out.” We can be assured that no matter what “real life” situation is present in the life of the Personality Disorder, there will be a justification and excuse for it.

Social Disruption

There is never a calm, peaceful, and stable relationship with a Cluster B Personality Disorder! Their need to be the center of attention and control those around them ensures a near-constant state of drama, turmoil, discord, and distress. An individual with a Personality Disorder creates drama and turmoil in almost every social situation. Holidays, family reunions, outings in the community, travel, and even grocery shopping are often turned into a social nightmare. The Personality Disorder also creates disruption in their family system. They are the focus of feuds, grudges, bad feelings, jealousy, and turmoil. If you have a member of your family that you hate to see arrive at a family reunion or holiday dinner — he or she probably has a Personality Disorder.

Manipulation As A Way of Life

To obtain our daily personal, social, and emotional needs, a healthy individual has a variety of strategies to use including taking personal action, politely asking someone, making deals, being honest, etc. Healthy individuals also use manipulation as one of many social skills — buying someone a gift to cheer them up, making comments and giving hints that something is desired, etc. For the Personality Disorder, despite the many social strategies available, manipulation is their preferred method of obtaining their wants and needs. The manipulations of a Personality Disorder —when combined with shallow emotions, entitlement, and being self-centered — can be extreme. To obtain their goals, an Antisocial Personality may physically threaten, harass, intimidate, and assault those around them. Histrionic Personalities may create dramatic situations, threaten self-harm, or create social embarrassment. Narcissistic Personalities may send police and an ambulance to your home if you don’t answer their phone calls, using the excuse that they were concerned about you. Their real goal is to ensure you that their phone calls must be answered or you will pay the consequences. Borderline Personalities may self-injure in your physical presence. In a relationship with a Personality Disorder, we are constantly faced with a collection of schemes, situations, manipulations, and interactions that have a hidden agenda...their agenda.

The Talk and Behavior Gap

We know how people are by two samples of their personality — their talk and their behavior. A person who is honest has talk/conversation/promises that match their behavior almost 100%. If he/she borrows money and tells you they will repay you Friday, and then pays you Friday, you have an honest person. When we observe these matches frequently, then we can give more trust to that individual in the future. The wider the gap between what a person says/promises and what they do — the more they are considered dishonest, unreliable, irresponsible, etc. Due to the shallow emotions and situational morality often found in a Personality Disorder, the gap between talk and behavior can be very wide. A Personality Disorder can often assure their spouse that they love them while having an extramarital affair, borrow money with no intention of paying it back, promise anything with no intention of fulfilling that promise, and assure you of their friendship while spreading nasty rumors about you. A rule: Judge a person by their behavior more than their talk or promises.

Dysfunctional Parents

Individuals with a Personality Disorder are frequently parents. However, they are frequently dysfunctional parents. Personality Disorder parents often see their children as a burden to their personal goals, are often jealous of the attention their children receive, often feel competitive with their older children, and often attempt to obtain their personal goals through their children. Personality Disorder parents control their children through manipulation, with little concern for how their parenting behavior will later influence the lives or the personality of the child. Personality Disorder parents are often hypercritical, leaving the child with the feeling that they are incompetent or unworthy. In extreme cases, Antisocial parents criminally neglect, abuse, or exploit their children — often teaching them to become criminals. Criminal parents often use their children to steal or carry drugs to avoid criminal charges as an adult, allowing the children to face the legal charges. Spouses with a Personality Disorder are often jealous of the attention their partner provides to children in the home, frequently targeting the child for verbal abuse in their jealousy. The narcissism and shallow emotions in a Personality Disorder parent leave the children feeling unloved, unwanted, unworthy, and unappreciated.

Unconscious or Calculated Behavior?

When we look at the emotions, attitudes and behaviors of an individual with a Personality Disorder we eventually begin to question: Are these characteristics calculated and purposeful or are they unconscious behaviors that are not under their control? In working with Personality Disorders, we see both. For example:

Attitudes

The majority of the attitudes we seen in Personality Disorders are very long-standing and have been present since their teen years. Blaming others is a classic personality disorder feature and after believing this for many years, people with a Personality Disorder may not truly feel they are responsible for their behavior — even their criminal behavior. They have rethought, reworked, and excused their behaviors to the point that they fail to see that they are the common denominator in all their difficulties. Convicted criminals, with crimes ranging from auto theft to homicide, all have a similar attitude — “Incarceration is unfair”. They don’t factor victims into their crimes in any way. For this reason, those with a Personality Disorder have very little understanding and insight into their attitudes that ruin relationships. Victims will assure you that trying to explain a normal, healthy position to an individual with a Personality Disorder is almost impossible.

Impaired Relationships

In a Personality Disorder, over many years the individual develops impaired ways of relating to others. These impaired ways of relating eventually become their only way of relating to others. Beginning in their childhood, as an adult they now only know how to relate to others with intimidation, threat, anger, manipulation, and dishonesty. This defective social style continues, even when those around them are socially skilled, concerned, accepting, and loving.

Situational Behavior

Justifying their behavior with these long-standing attitudes, individuals with a Personality Disorder can be very calculated, purposeful, and manipulative in their behavior toward others. Their decision making, coping strategies, and manipulations are often well-planned to meet their agenda. Financially, many will purposefully legally obligate you to pay for their debts. They may steal money from you, justifying that behavior with “I cut the grass for three years — I deserve it.” It is this combination of long-standing attitudes and calculated behavior that makes a Personality Disorder dangerous in any interpersonal relationship.

What Does This Mean for the Victims?

In a relationship with a Personality Disorder, several basic truths are present. These include:

1.      The victim in a relationship with a Personality Disorder did not create the Personality Disorder. Many Personality Disorders blame the victim for their assaults, lies, bad behavior, deceptions, intimidations, etc. In truth, the Personality Disorder has those behaviors if the victim is present or absent. Victims don’t cause themselves to be assaulted — they are involved with an abusive and assaulting individual.

2.      Changing the behavior of the victim does not change the behavior of the Personality Disorder. Many victims become superstitious and feel that they can control the behavior of the Personality Disorder in their life by changing their behavior. This is often a temporary fix, meaning only that you are now meeting the demands of the Personality Disorder. When the Personality Disorder feels justified, they return to their behavior with no concern for changes in the behavior of the victim. Loving sharks doesn’t protect us if we find ourselves dripping blood in a shark tank.

3.      A Personality Disorder is a permanent, long-standing pattern. Time doesn’t change these personalities. If your mother or father had a personality disorder in your childhood, returning home after twenty years will find their old behavior alive and well.

4.      Marrying, having a baby with, moving in with, etc. actually makes their dysfunctional behavior worse. The presence of stress exaggerates and amplifies our normal personality characteristics. Mentally healthy yet shy individuals become even shyer under stress. The stress of additional responsibilities actually increases the bad behavior of a Personality Disorder.

5.      When involved in any manner with a Personality Disorder — as their partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, etc. — we must not only recognize their behaviors but also develop a strategy to protect ourselves. Many of our strategies must focus on protecting our emotional stability, our finances, and our other relationships. As a parent, if our adult son or daughter has a Personality Disorder, we must protect ourselves from their behaviors that might jeopardize our lifestyle and life. As the child of a parent with a Personality Disorder, we must often protect our immediate family and children from the bad behavior of our parent. It’s important to remember that with a Personality Disorder, their survival and well-being is their priority — not the health or well-being of those around them.

Summary

As we go through life, we encounter a variety of individuals. We also develop a variety of relationships with others including family members, neighbors, fellow workers, friends, and familiar faces. Healthy relationships seem to be healthy in the same way — having characteristics of respect, concern for others, affection, cooperation, honesty, mutual goals, etc. A relationship with a Personality Disorder is totally different. That 9 or 10 percent of adults with a “Cluster B” Personality Disorder can create significant difficulties in our life. In brief contacts they are often troublesome — the uncle who is a con artist or the sister-in-law whom nobody can tolerate at holiday dinners. When we bring them into our lives, however, a Personality Disorder rapidly takes over and our life becomes centered on their needs, demands, and goals. To achieve their self-centered objectives, the Personality Disorder becomes the controller, abuser, manipulator and user in relationships. The early identification of individuals who create unhealthy relationships can save us from years of heartache as well as damage to our personality, self-esteem, finances, and lifestyle.

Specific techniques used by individuals with a Cluster B Personality Disorder can be found in another article entitled “Identifying Losers in Relationships”. I have also addressed the issues associated with remaining in an abusive or dysfunctional relationship in an article entitled “Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser”.

sorry moo

akoy sadyang manhid
di ko na isip at nalaman
nasasaktan na ang iyong damdamin
sadyang wala akong kaalaman
sa aking paghihigpit
paghinga moy naiipit
nag mamatyag nag mamasid
walang tiwalang matching
pati sa iyong kasuotan
ikaw ay pinapagalitan


pasensya kana aking asawa
pag kakataon akoy bigyan pa
handa akong mag bago
lahat laan gawin para sayo
wag kang mawawala at mang iwan
buhay koy di alam kung san sisimulan
nawa ay muli akong pagkatiwalaan
ibalik natin ang pina kamatinding pagmamahalan.

mis u im crazy

di ko mapuno ang sisinlan ng aking kaligayan
kung wala ka at di man lang nasilayan
para akong pinaparusahan ng langit
kapag mga umagat gabi na sumasapit
ay wala ka sa aking piling aking sinta
bawat minuto at oras  nais kang maksama
akoy sadyang malalang malala na
sobrang mahal na mahal na talaga kita
adik na adik sayo ang puso kong ito
ikaw lang parati ang laman ng isipan ko
wala akong hinahangad kundi ang kaligayahan mo
wala akong hinangad kundi makita ang mga ngiti mo
mahal kita maniwala ka sana at magtiwala
di ko hahayaang ikay mawala pa o mag laho pa
sapagkay ikaw ang nais kong makasama
hangang sa aking huling hininga

chori

the day start like wathcing a horor Film
Iam terrified on what I feel
sorry for being a paranoid
Iam a selfish boy
sorry for being narcissistic
acting like a autistic


let us to do suppression
learn and do the action
undoing bond us together
I want to be with you forever
I offer one self
I am ready for a help
let my love surpass me
i will be the best i can be
thank you for being honest to me




this is the reality
not a fantasy
this is my destiny
to have you and to love you

rap

give me some beat
ung napaka lupit


dugs dugs dugs dugs


mahal na mahal kita 
wala na ngang iba
ikaw lang talaga
miriam saludaga
gaya ng dati
ayaw na ayaw ko umuwi
gusto parati kang nasa tabi
araw man o gabi


buhay koy nag iba
simula ng dumating ka
nag karoon ng sigla
nag karroon ng kulay


pag ibig na wagas
ang ating pinag saluhan
itoy di mag wawakas


kinilala ko bawat kilos mo
pati mga galaw mo
pwede mo na ako ka double
wag lang sa pagiging humble


 ganda ng love story
ikaw si beauty 
ako si beast
pag mumukha ko iyong natiis
ito ay true love
sa pangit ka na in love

nainlove ako dahil gold ka "18k"

1. kaibigan
2. katoto
3. katxtmate
4. kristiyano
5. kagandahan
6. katalinuhan
7. kasipagan
8. kabaitan
9. kasexyhan
10. kakulitan
11. katapangan
12. katapatan
13. ka switan
14. karisma
15. kasundo sa maraming bagay
16. karamay sa mga problema
17. kagalingan sa maraming larangan
18. kamandag

bugso ng damdamin
atin nang alamin
lumipas man ang mga buwan
wala paring mang iiwan
ano mang pag subok na hinarap
aming nalagpasan
anomang alitan tampuhan
amin nang iniwanan
ang pag sasamahan ay lalong tumibay
sa pag subok ay mag kahawak kamay
pag ibig ay lumago
ano mang panahon di mag babago
mga pangako ay handang tuparin
swerte ko ikaw ay napa sakin
sa di nami dami ng gwapo sa mundo
itong pangit na to ang napili mo
hamak lang ako sa harapan mo
parang alalay lang pag tumabi ako sayo
wagas ang iyong pag ibig
pag mumukha koy natiis
salamat sa lahat lahat
salamat


from
monkey

graduation day

saya ko nung araw na iyon
sa sobrang excited na iwan ang baon
pati stored value sa LRT
na iwanan ko rin


ang aga ko umalis at pumunta sa PICC
aga ko dumating ngunit hindi ako nagsisisi
sabik na sabik akong makita ka
at masilayan ang maganda mong mukha
aga ko nakapunta dun
sabrang excited ko
hindi ako na bigo
na pangiti ako ng masilayan ang kagandahan mo


sa oras ng graduation
nasa iyo ang buo kong attention
halos di ako maka upo
kaya pag tapos sakit ng paa ko
sobrang saya ko
na inspired ako
nan liit ako
proud sayo
ang unggoy na ito
sa pag tawag sayo
pag kuha ng diploma mo
talagang inabangan ko
tuwang tuwa ako


kina usap ako ng mama mo
saya ko pinansin nya ako




sa ating pag uwi 
sa inasal na bumawi
dami kong nakain
naka anim na kanin


sa taxi nalaman ko
mag iina nga kayo
di ko na ikekwento kung bakit


ilove u moo

wag kang matakot moo

I will be here

nan dito lang si moo
handa tumulong sa iyo
nan dito lang si moo
handa sumoporta sa iyo
nan dito lang si moo
laging naka alalay sa iyo
nan dito lang si moo
handang dumamay sa iyo
nan dito lang si moo
sasamahan ka san kaman mag tungo
nan dito lang si moo
nag mamahal sayo ng todo
nan dito lang si moo
adik na adik sa iyo
nan dito lang si moo
nananalangin sa iyo
nan dito lang si moo
kakampi mo ako
nan dito lang si moo
I love u!

naka apat na kami

naka apat na buwan na tayo
napaka saya ko talaga mahal ko
sa shooting ako ay tinalo
nakakahiya naman talaga ako
ang galing mo proud ako
gusto ko isigaw sa buong mundo


sa ating pag kain
ganun parin ang takaw natin
sa isang rice ay nabitin
isang fries ay kulang din
lakas na tin lumamon especialy ako
kulang panga yun bitin pa ako:D


sa librong nabasa dami kong nakuha
dami kong natutunan akoy tuwang tuwa
sana lahat ay aking magawa
gagawin ko lahat lahat para sayo aking sinta
dadaigin ko ang mga nakasulat sa librong iyon
mamahalin kita bukas magapakailan man at ngayon


sa ating pag uwi akoy bitin parin
sabagay kahit isang araw sa iyong piling
akoy di mag sasawa at parating bitin
sa aking pag hatid baon ko ang malaking ngiti
masaysang masaya kahit kulang pa
bitin na bitin kasi talaga


salamat sa lahat lahat
sorry din sa lahat lahat
I love you sobra sobra MOO
April 18 get ready here we come!

4th monthsary

Happy 4th monthsary
I'm so very happy
I learn so many lesson
I do my best to put it in to action
I eternally thank God he gave you
I so grateful and blessed to have you
thank you for being there when I need you
thank you for picking me up when I fall
thank you for loving me so much
thank you for keeping me in touch
I promise to do my best
I promise to be almost perfect
this is forever
And i will never never 
say it will end

My only one

from my broken heart
that you make whole
from my empty life
that you filled with joy


chorus


Thank you
I love you
my only one
My one and only




I find peace in you
I found love with you
now I give my all
Im yours Im yours




"di ko pa nagawan ng tono" hahaa

thank you

thank you for being there when I need you

thank you for picking me up and helping me too

You are such a incredible gift from God

you hope to my life that is so bad

be with me hold me, hug me kiss me 

mold me stay with me love me

when life is getting to hard from me

there is you who always care for me

when the joy failed to come

you know how to make me smile

when i cant laugh anymore

when emptiness filed my soul

you are there holding me on

thank you so much

I love you so much

3p

ang saya saya ng araw na ito

sapagkat ang mahal ko ay pumarito

nag laro kami ng nag laro

kumain ng kung ano ano

sarap niya ksama parang nasa langit ka

sarap niya kasama wala na akong mahihiling pa

at sa kanyang pag uwi

bike ang gamit sa pag hatid

gamit ang buong lakas

nakarating din sa wakas

sulit bawat pagpatak ng aking pawis

makita lang ang kanyang ngiti aking ninanais

sa aking pag uwi baon ko ang mga ngiti

kaligayahan sa puso koy di na maisilid

sadyang adik na ba ako?

oh nababaliw lang talaga ako?

sobra kitang mahal sinta

mahal na mahal kita miriam saludaga

the song you sung

this song is so nice missing you is so hard its corrupting my mind it makes me feel sad i want to spend my days with you my day and my night but this time around i failed because this is not a time for that. i always miss you 1 whole day with you is not enough.thank you for the times we spend together the moment we've shared thank you for your understanding heart and picking me up when I'm so down. thank you moo

di bale nalang "edited by me"

Minsan
Sabi niya sa akin ay di na uuwi
Akala ko naman ay sigurado na ako
Handa kong tanggapin ang kanyang oo

Bgla na lang nagbago ang isip niya
Hindi ko akalain na gano'n pala siya
Pinaasa niya lang ako
Bitin na bitin ako
Oooh woh

kahit pa ano ang sabihin nila
'Di bale na lang talagakahit pa marami dyang iba
'Di bale na lang kaya
sobrang mahal ko siya
'Di bale na lang
'Di bale na lang
'Di bale na lang

Ngayon
Araw-araw lumilipas ang panahon
di siya mawala wala sa isip ko
sakanya na umiikot ang aking mundo

at nung kami ay nagkita
umpisa palang uuwi na siya
Pinaasa niya lang ako
Bitin na bitin ako
Oooh woh
Bakit ka naman ganyan
Ano pa ba kayang paraan
gusto gusto pa kita kasamaat ayaw ko na umuwi pa
'Di bale na lang
'Di bale na lang
'Di bale na lang

Bitin na bitin ako
Oh oh oh

'Di bale na lang...
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooooooh...